Christmas Eve

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all along the route

Just a few elves were a stirring, getting the water stops out,

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

I mean the dryer for Dri-Fit, you just do not dare,

Some were still nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Starbucks & Shopping Carts danced in their heads,

With my two pairs of gloves and my trusty white visor,

I headed out for my run in the cold, none the wiser,

When out on the route there arose such a clatter,

I stopped in my tracks to see what was the matter,

Away to the sidewalk I flew like a flash,

A driver on their cell phone???, I braced for a crash,

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave a luster of mid-day from Mt. Auburn to below,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

Could that be Hal Higdon, no it must be St. Nick,

 More rapid than Kenyans his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet, On, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With a sleigh full of Spi-belts, foam rollers & GU.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof,

As I headed for home, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas went with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his Asics were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of running gear he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

Whoa..no smoking here Santa, put the pipe back in it's sheath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he ran, like a bowl full of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the compression socks, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he dodged an oncoming car,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a new PR!"

Merry Christmas!